Do unto others….

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110418083245.htm

The need to belong is one of our essential needs in life. In the famous Harlow (1958) experiment, baby monkeys were presented with two options, one wire figure resembled a monkey mother and was covered with brown terry cloth while another wire figure resembled a monkey mother and had a feeding bottle attached but did not have the terry cloth. The baby monkey chose the comfort and love of the cloth covered figure over the figure that offered food. We do not ever fully grow out of this need for love and care in life, but this is especially true in the social arena of school.

Social connections are essential to our happiness, so the lack of connections can be devastating to our well-being and self-esteem. Even something as minor as being left out of a ball catch session can lead to feelings of rejection and ostracism. Often those who stand out from the group are ostracized which is undoubtedly what the lesbian, gay and bisexual kids felt. These feelings of ostracism can lead to feelings of unimportance in the world which can transition into suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

A vicious cycle can be sparked by rejection in which rejection can lead to anti-social behaviors such as diminished generosity, cooperative and helpfulness. Rejected individuals will then reject novel possible connections, thus continuing the cycle of loneliness. A chilling, but important example of what rejection can do is evidenced by the columbine shootings and other such school shootings. The perpetrators of these events were often picked on and excluded by others. These dangerous behaviors of murder and suicide may be avoided if these individuals were accepted into groups unmet with rejection.